How to Help a Friend or a Loved One

I was asked by one of my readers, how to support a loved one when they are struggling with an eating disorder. It’s an excellent question and I’ll pose another to my reader, how do you emotionally support yourself living with someone with an eating disorder?

Here are some tips for How to Help a Friend or Loved One
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Eating disorders are very sensitive issues. Many individuals want to help someone they know, but do not know where to begin. Before you try to help someone, be sure to examine your own attitudes about disordered eating. Do you think disordered eating is about any of the following?

It is disgusting
It is for attention
It is behavior to control others
It is a weakness
It is narcissistic
It is about wanting to be thin
Individuals who do it are crazy

If you have any of these feelings about disordered eating, we do not recommend you try to help someone until you educate yourself about eating disorders and explore your own attitudes.

Eating disorders are medical conditions that have mental, emotional and physical complications.
When you understand this, you are in a position to be very helpful to someone struggling in silence.
Remember, this is a health issue!!

These simple steps have been proven to be affective when wanting to help:

Set a time to talk in private and allow for plenty of time
Tell the person what you have observed in behaviors Relate your feelings about these observed behaviors
Let the person talk about your observations and feelings
Avoid conflict and recognize denial and minimization as part of the problem
If the person is resistant, repeat your observations and feelings calmly
Do not place shame, guilt or failure on the person
Avoid giving simple advice
Encourage the person to seek professional help
Offer to help the person locate and make an appointment with a professional
Offer to accompany the person to the appointment

If you have attempted to support your loved one, share your story...