I want to share this article with you. It gives you a better understanding of the automatic negative messages that run through your head all the time, every day. Many of the messages we tell ourselves were told to us by significant others when we were a child. We have internalized these messages, so that we actually believe these thoughts are true and now we repeat these statements to ourselves over and over again. It’s time to challenge these beliefs!
By Colleen Thompson
The voices of an eating disorder, a never ending dialogue that plays inside the mind of a person suffering with an eating disorder. Those voices and the cruel words they speak are with a person from the minute they wake up, until the minute they fall asleep. They encourage their victims continue to abuse their bodies through starvation, bingeing, purging and other dangerous methods of weight control, and can bring them to the brink of death.
Whenever you read about eating disorders or hear people talking about them, you usually hear about the eating disorder behaviors or the emotional issues causing them. It is not very often you hear people talk about the voices that go along with having an eating disorder. I feel it is very important to talk about those voices because they do play a big role in keeping the eating disorder active. They convince us that we are worthless, unlovable, fat, ugly, disgusting, hopeless, and so much more. They convince us that the world would be better off without us and that we deserve to die.
Most eating disorder sufferers are too afraid to reveal to anyone that they hear voices inside their heads. In the beginning, I was afraid to tell anyone because I thought I was crazy and assumed whoever I told would feel the same way and have me locked up somewhere. I can now see that I am not crazy and many people with eating disorders do have these voices.
It is very understandable why victims of eating disorders have so much trouble developing self-esteem and finding a reason to live. When you have such negative voices yelling at you constantly, it is hard not to believe what they say. You can never feel good about yourself or the things that you do, because whatever you do is just not good enough for those voices. They will say anything to try and convince you not to eat. They will tell you that someone so horrible does not deserve that food. If you do eat, they are screaming at you to get rid of it. They tell you that you are weak for eating and that if you do not get rid of it, you will surely become fat. They will tell you that no one will love you if you gain weight. These voices are very powerful and their ultimate goal is to destroy you.
Sometimes those voices try to fool you into believing they are really your only friend. They will convince you that you cannot live without them. They will promise you that wonderful things will happen, but only if you listen to them. They convince you that life will be so wonderful, once you have lost enough weight. Those voices will tell you that if you lose just five more pounds, then you will be happy. I used to believe those voices, but no matter how much weight I lost, those promises never came true. I was not happy and my life was not perfect. No matter what the scale said, it was never low enough. Those voices lied to me and they are lying to you.
It sometimes surprises me that we do not hear more discussions about the voices that are constantly playing inside the minds of someone suffering with an eating disorder. Those voices are usually present, long before the symptoms of the eating disorder actually appeared. People need to be made aware of these voices and the power that they have, especially the people that are involved in trying to help someone that is suffering. These voices provide the person with the reasons to continue to abuse themselves in the way that they do. It is impossible for someone to destroy these voices on their own. They need help doing that, before those voices have the chance to destroy them.
If you know someone that is suffering with an eating disorder, it is important that you do what you can to help the person free themselves from that negative dialogue they hear constantly. It can be frustrating dealing with someone that is suffering, but you need to be encouraging, supportive, and provide that person with your unconditional love. Do not get angry at the person and do not yell at them. Do not make them feel guilty for having a problem or tell them that they are destroying the family and making your life a living hell. Even though you are very concerned about the person, do not make them feel bad by telling them that you are losing sleep over it.
Even though you may have lost a few hours sleep worrying, the people that suffer have probably lost years of their lives to it. By telling them those things, you will in fact be giving those voices even more power. They will tell the person that since they cause so much problems for other people and upset them, then they really do not deserve to eat. They only deserve to die. Those voices they hear are negative enough, but having the people around them saying negative things only makes it worse. How can someone make progress and get better, if all they hear are negative messages?
In order to help someone that is suffering, you need to break into that negative dialogue they hear constantly. The person needs to hear good things about themselves. You need to point out the positive things and stop focusing on the eating disorder behaviors. Encourage them to talk about what those voices are saying and help to show them that they are wrong and only lying to them. They need to know that they are in fact wonderful people that do not deserve to live this way and they especially need to know that you love them. They probably will not believe any positive things about themselves in the beginning, but the more they hear it, the more likely they are to start listening to what you say. They will then slowly develop a will to live and they will begin fighting against those voices.
It takes a long time to destroy those voices, but it can be done. It is also important for everyone suffering to know that they do have a choice about whether or not to listen to those voices. No matter what they say, you do not have to listen to them. Remember that they only lie to you and you can go against them. The more you do that, the weaker they become. It is not easy to go against those voices, but you do have the power within yourself to do it. You will not always succeed in going against them, but remain determined not to let them win. Recovery takes a long time, but one day you will be able to live the happy, healthy life that you deserve and you will be able to silence those voices forever.
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