Dethroning Your Inner Critic in Eating Disorder Recovery: Part I

There's an inner critic in all of us! Some are just louder and meaner. You can talk back to your critic. Once you understand that your "inner critic" is scared for you; you can learn to soothe the inner critic's fears and send it packing! Practice saying kind things to yourself...

Ilissa

You know how sometimes you mean to do something but somehow it never happens? Or you have a goal, but seem to keep doing the opposite? In February I suggested thinking of an “objecting part” of you that feels differently about your conscious goal, worrying that doing that thing, reaching that goal might make things worse for you in ways your conscious mind isn’t considering. The “objecting part” speaks through sabotage rather than words. (Check out “Getting Unstuck in Eating Disorder Recovery by Befriending Objecting Parts” to learn more.)

Objecting parts are examples of parts of your mind that have a purpose, that is, they are trying to do something important for you. The objecting part’s purpose is to put on the brakes when it has doubts or fears, sometimes unconscious ones, about the direction you’re heading. Your eating disorder probably includes a number of parts with a purpose. For instance, you’ve probably got a part that has cued you to go straight into eating disorder behavior when difficult emotions pop up. Read More>>>

Live In The Moment? How Do You Do THAT?

Many people are so concerned about what might happen in the future that they miss out on enjoying what's going on in the moment. Read on and learn tips for staying in the moment!

Ilissa

“It is difficult to live in the present, ridiculous to live in the future, and impossible to live in the past. Nothing is as far away as one minute ago.”

When people suggest that I “live in the moment” I understand the concept and can recognize the value (I read and loved Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power Of Now”). But I secretly wonder, “How on earth do you really do that?”

Yesterday, I spent one of the last glorious days of summer lazing on the beach with a dear friend. We were basking in the final rays of the afternoon sun when the conversation turned to his single status. He shared with me that an old girlfriend, currently married was potentially about to be single again. Knowing he had a “thing” for this woman in the past, and a desire to be in a relationship now, I was all over the “potential” that they may yet end up together.

Sensing his overt lack of enthusiasm over my colorfully painted vision of his future, I asked him what was up; to which he replied, “I don’t live in the past or the future, I live in the moment”. Read More>>>

Ten Tips (+1) on Coping with Stress and Anxiety

On a scale from 1-10 with 10 being the worst; rate your anxiety this week. If it's above a 5 or feels real uncomfortable; try these tips. After a week or two of using these tips, recalculate your anxiety scale to see if there has been some improvement.

Ilissa

Anxiety is a signal our mind and body gives us that danger is near. The danger may come from internal or external sources. We feel the press of living through the stresses we experience. Stress is cumulative, as it draws upon our personal and physical resources. Different people have individual tolerances for higher-than-normal levels of stress and anxiety. When feeling over-burdened, excessive stress and anxiety can lead to lowered self-esteem and depression. In such a situation, the goal of psychotherapy is to validate your emotional experience, adjust the negative self-assessment engendered by emotional overload, and help you find the path of support and positive developmental change. Often, anxiety and stress are heightened by being caught between untenable choices in life, or between people we love (or even, sometimes, fear). These problems can be explored and understood in psychotherapy.
Below are some tips about what many have found to be at least temporarily useful coping skills for living with stress and anxiety. They are not foolproof. If you are feeling very distressed and your life is suffering, there is no substitute to talking with a professional.Read More>>>

Binge Eating Disorder: The Emotional Roots of a Physical Condition

Something happened this morning in a nondescript "multipurpose room" on the campus of Pace University that could end up saving (literally) tens of thousands of lives. The Stop Obesity Alliance, the National Eating Disorders Association and key members of the mass media--three groups which, throughout the years have often been at loggerheads--got together for a long overdue talk. The subject? How the three groups can come together for the greatest good and talk about weight and health in a new, better way. I was there, in part, because I'm kind of a walking, breathing chimera of all three groups. I am recovered from binge eating disorder (BED) and obesity (I weighed 225 pounds during college, when my bingeing was at its worst), and I'm also a long-time health editor at Glamour magazine.

I've covered the health risks of obesity, smart nutrition and healthy weight loss--among many other women's health topics--for years. And, perhaps because of my personal history of BED, have often wondered why (oh God, why?) more obesity research and discussion of the obesity epidemic didn't focus on "disordered" eating. Of course obesity isn't an eating disorder, but it's undeniable that many people who are obese have one! Read More>>>