DID YOU KNOW THAT ALMOST ALL OF THE PHOTOS OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN MAGAZINES ARE TOUCHED UP?
EVER THINK YOU MIGHT BE TRYING TO LIVE UP TO SOME STANDARD OF BEAUTY THAT DOESN'T REALLY EXIST? WATCH THE VIDEO...
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Surviving Holiday Meals
Are you worried about all the foods at Christmas and all the social situations you will be in? Here are some ideas to make navigating the holiday season a bit more manageable. Ilissa
Holidays such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Hanukah pose unique challenges for people with eating disorders. Worries about holiday eating tend to fall into two major categories: (1) fears of familiar holiday meals and (2) fears of new and unknown meal settings and situations.
Familiar holiday meals
Familiarity with a holiday meal can be both an asset and a liability for clients.Read More...
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Tonight-Talk Therapy W/ Ilissa at www.ksgvradio.com
Biggest Mistakes Men Make When Dating! Special Guest: Dan Mc Getrick, MFT and Hypnotherapy. Answering Calls and Emails!
December 16, 2010 at 7pm, www.ksgvradio.com
Monday, December 13, 2010
Eating Disorder Guide For Parents
The Center for Discovery suggests these guildelines for helping your child with their eating disorder. Ilissa
The information below is intended to provide parents and loved ones with suggestions on how to help their son or daughter struggling with an eating disorder. These suggestions are only intended to offer and maintain a supportive environment and should not be considered a form of treatment. Due to the serious nature of Anorexia, Bulimia and Binge Eating it is important to seek treatment from professional eating disorder specialists that will assist with helping adolescents to full recovery.
Where to Start: Read more...
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Listen Tonight, Talk Therapy w/ Ilissa, MFT
December 9th at 7pm at www.ksgvradio.com
Biggest Dating Mistakes Women Make with Special Guest: Dr. Stuart Rubin,
Cosmetic and General Dentistry. Ilissa answers your emails!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Eating Disorder Red Flags
Center for Discovery in California is an excellent inpatient program for treating more serious eating disorders. They have posted some read flags to look for if you think you may have an eating disorder.
Ilissa
There are several factors that contribute to the development of anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder and other related complex disordered eating. Eating disorders are complicated, so it is important to know what signs and symptoms to look for. Below are several signs that a person may be struggling and he or she needs help!
•Constant thoughts about your weight Read More...
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
More Men Facing Eating Disorders
We used to think that an eating disorder was a female condition. Actually more and more in the later years men have become a sizable population dealing with eating disorders. More men need to seek out treatment without feeling shamed or embarrassed.
Ilissa
More and more men are feeling the pressure to be thin and look good, according to a presentation at the American Dietetic Association Food and Nutrition Conference in St. Louis.
"Males are taking on our unhealthy obsession with thinness and perfection, and as a result we are seeing an increased incidence in eating disorders in males" says Sondra Kronberg, MS, RD, CDN. Kronberg is the director and co-founder of Eating Disorder Associates Treatment and Referral Centers and has been treating clients with eating disorders for more than 25 years.
According to the National Eating Disorders Association, there are about 1 million men with serious eating disorders and tens of millions who have some form of eating disorders.
Why the Increase? Read More...
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Tonight 7pm Listen Live to Talk Therapy w/ Ilissa
It's Not Easy Being a Single Parent!
Special Guest: Kathy Benton, Stepping Stones for Women and their Children
Ilissa answers your calls and emails!
November 11,2010 7pm www.ksgvradio.com
Monday, November 8, 2010
How to survive Thanksgiving when you’re in eating disorder recovery
Thanksgiving is perhaps the holiday that inspires the most amount of anxiety and fear in the hearts of those (Americans) with eating disorders, especially those of us with bingeing disorders like bulimia or BED who know we can eat the feast twice over and then some. We’ve discussed tips and advice for the holidays here before, but I got a note from Denver-based Eating Recovery Center this week with even more coping skills for sufferers and caregivers that I thought helpful to share.
The Eating Recovery Center offers these five recommendations to help individuals in recovery confidently manage holiday festivities: Read More>>>
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Tonight on Talk Therapy W/ Ilissa at www.ksgvradio.com
Girl Talk with Brenda and Ilissa
Single After 30?
How to Find the Right Partner!
Ilissa answers your questions!
7pm www.ksgvradio.com November 4, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Science Works to Conquer Junk Food Cravings
Is there ANYONE who cannot relate to this article???
Ilissa
Like a pesky piece of gum on the bottom of your shoe, you can count on cravings sticking around for a while. And women struggle with cravings even more than their husbands or boyfriends, thanks to hormonal changes that occur around the menstrual cycle and during pregnancy. But there is hope! Use this advice from Bob Greene and TheBestLife.com to conquer your cravings for good.
Obviously, junk food cravings wouldn't be a problem if we craved healthy fare like produce, or if the answer to withstanding temptations was as simple as willpower. Unfortunately, cravings are a little more complicated than that.
First, there's a physiological component, suggests research from Brian Wansink, Ph.D., author of Mindless Eating.Read more>>>
Monday, October 25, 2010
Men and Women Talk!
Why do men fear disagreeing with their wives or partners? I’m sorry; I know the word fear is not a favorite term for men to identify with. But, I do see it over and over again in my office. Men need to stop trying to figure out what they think their partner wants them to say and instead say what they really think.
First off to men's credit, women need to speak calmly and respectfully to their husbands/partners when they disagree with them. However, men need to tolerate some emotion.
Guys don't shut down! Tell your truth in a calm respectful way and then wait to see if you get a respectful response back. If not, your done, respectfully so. Be gentle. Your partner is acting out of emotion right now. No need for yelling. Ask for a time-out. When you try again start with something like, “That didn’t go very well did it?” Humor at no one’s expense is always a good icebreaker.
Simply, men and women speak your truth in a calm and effective manner. Calm yourselves before you speak. This new style of communicating will encourage other positive interactions.
Ilissa Banhazl, MFT www.ilissabanhazlmft.com
Comments are welcome: "Let me know if you try this and please tell me if something changes."
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Talk Therapy W/ ilissa at www.ksgvradio.com
Counseling for Older Adults
Special guest Deborah Dozal, of the La Fetra Senior Center.
Valentines Month Ends with "How to Create Intimacy”...
Answering your emails!
Listen Thursday October 21st at 7pm at www.ksgvradio.com
Special guest Deborah Dozal, of the La Fetra Senior Center.
Valentines Month Ends with "How to Create Intimacy”...
Answering your emails!
Listen Thursday October 21st at 7pm at www.ksgvradio.com
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Watch Ilissa's Video at Youtube
Watch Ilissa's video at Youtube, Ilissa Banhazl, MFT http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3nUcMA6pqA
Learn about her practice and find out who she really is...
Learn about her practice and find out who she really is...
Monday, September 20, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Women's Support group in Glendora
Facilitated by Ilissa Banhazl, Marriage and Family Psychotherapist
Wednesday evenings 7-8:30pm for 8 weeks
$45 per meeting, PPO Reinbursement
Please call 626-335-0903 for more information
Hurry, there are only 8 slots!
"There's nothing like the support from other women especially when you're in a safe place."
You can talk about anything...
Wednesday evenings 7-8:30pm for 8 weeks
$45 per meeting, PPO Reinbursement
Please call 626-335-0903 for more information
Hurry, there are only 8 slots!
"There's nothing like the support from other women especially when you're in a safe place."
You can talk about anything...
Thursday, September 9, 2010
“Be the Change” In Your Family During Eating Disorder Recovery
Mahatama Ghandi, leader of India’s fight for independence, famously said: “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” You don’t have to be seeking national liberation to use this inspirational advice. In fact, you can apply it in your home.
Whether or not you still live with your parents and siblings, family interactions can support or undermine your recovery. We’d all like it if we could just put notes in a family suggestion box when we want things to be different. Family members would read our notes and make the changes we want. I don’t know about you, but my family never got that memo. If we want things to change, we often have to be the first to set the example.
Here are five problems that commonly occur in families during eating disorder recovery, followed by examples of how you can “be the change” you want:Read More>>>
Childhood Obesity Awareness Month
September is Childhood Obesity Awareness Month by Presidential Proclamation.
One of the greatest responsibilities we have as a Nation is to safeguard the health and well-being of our children. We now face a national childhood obesity crisis, with nearly one in every three of America's children being overweight or obese. There are concrete steps we can take right away as concerned parents, caregivers, educators, loved ones, and a Nation to ensure that our children are able to live full and active lives. During National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month, I urge all Americans to take action to meet our national goal of solving the problem of childhood obesity within a generation.
One of the greatest responsibilities we have as a Nation is to safeguard the health and well-being of our children. We now face a national childhood obesity crisis, with nearly one in every three of America's children being overweight or obese. There are concrete steps we can take right away as concerned parents, caregivers, educators, loved ones, and a Nation to ensure that our children are able to live full and active lives. During National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month, I urge all Americans to take action to meet our national goal of solving the problem of childhood obesity within a generation.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Eating Disorder Questionaire
Here are some questions for you to consider if you think you yourself have an Eating Disorder, or if you think you know someone who does. Read the questions carefully and answer honestly.
When you are done click on the button labeled "PRINT ANSWERS TO SCREEN" to view all your answers. You can PRINT OUT the page so that you can take it with you to your doctor or to your therapist.Read More>>>
When you are done click on the button labeled "PRINT ANSWERS TO SCREEN" to view all your answers. You can PRINT OUT the page so that you can take it with you to your doctor or to your therapist.Read More>>>
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Women's Support Group
I am starting up another women's support group for women 18 years and older. If you would like more information please call or email Ilissa Banhazl, Marriage and Family Psychotherapist at (626)335-0903 or ilissa@ilissabanhazlmft.com
Group will be held once a week on Wednesday evenings from 7pm-8:30. The fee is $45 per session and group runs for 8 weeks or longer if the group wishes to continue.
Call soon because I’m taking names and there are only 8 spots!
"There's nothing like the support of other women especially when you're in a safe place" You can talk about anything...
Group will be held once a week on Wednesday evenings from 7pm-8:30. The fee is $45 per session and group runs for 8 weeks or longer if the group wishes to continue.
Call soon because I’m taking names and there are only 8 spots!
"There's nothing like the support of other women especially when you're in a safe place" You can talk about anything...
Monday, August 16, 2010
The Anxiety Diet
Think you're the only one? Think again!
Ilissa
For Jessica Winter food is a means to stave off impending disaster, keep stress at bay, and when things get really crazy, drop a dress size or three....
Like the mighty bison, the sturdy yak, and the vast water buffalo, I am a ruminant. You can usually find me in my native habitat (an office cubicle) chewing contemplatively (cud of choice: Snyder's Sourdough Nibblers) while gazing into the middle distance or in the general direction of a computer screen. Read More>>>
Ilissa
For Jessica Winter food is a means to stave off impending disaster, keep stress at bay, and when things get really crazy, drop a dress size or three....
Like the mighty bison, the sturdy yak, and the vast water buffalo, I am a ruminant. You can usually find me in my native habitat (an office cubicle) chewing contemplatively (cud of choice: Snyder's Sourdough Nibblers) while gazing into the middle distance or in the general direction of a computer screen. Read More>>>
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Talk Therapy With Ilissa, MS, MFT
How to Talk to Your Partner About Your Sex Life!
Special Guest: Rita Holman of Stroller Stride and Luna Mom's Club of Glendora
www.ksgvradio.com Talk Therapy
Friday August 6th at 11am-12pm
Special Guest: Rita Holman of Stroller Stride and Luna Mom's Club of Glendora
www.ksgvradio.com Talk Therapy
Friday August 6th at 11am-12pm
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Nutrition for Anxiety Disorders
Did you know that what you eat directly affects your level of anxiety? Wouldn't it help to eat the right foods?
After you read this article please go to www.ksgvradio.com, Click on Talk Therapy w/Ilissa and look at my archived shows. Click on March 1:
"Struggling With Anxiety or Depression"
With special guest Jeri Evans - Nutritionist
Ilissa
What we put in our body can have a direct impact on how we feel physically and emotionally. It is important to be aware of what you are putting in your body and how some foods could actually be increasing your experience of anxiety - especially if you are a sensitive person. Some of the anxiety your experience may actually be due to... Read More>>>
After you read this article please go to www.ksgvradio.com, Click on Talk Therapy w/Ilissa and look at my archived shows. Click on March 1:
"Struggling With Anxiety or Depression"
With special guest Jeri Evans - Nutritionist
Ilissa
What we put in our body can have a direct impact on how we feel physically and emotionally. It is important to be aware of what you are putting in your body and how some foods could actually be increasing your experience of anxiety - especially if you are a sensitive person. Some of the anxiety your experience may actually be due to... Read More>>>
Friday, July 30, 2010
Talk Therapy w/ Ilissa, MS, MFT
Single After 30?
How to Find the Right Partner!
Girl Talk with Brenda and Jeff
www.ksgvradio.com Listen on Friday July 30th from 11am-12pm
How to Find the Right Partner!
Girl Talk with Brenda and Jeff
www.ksgvradio.com Listen on Friday July 30th from 11am-12pm
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Kids, Teens and Eating Disorders
Is your teen not eating or eating too much? Do they disappear in to the bathroom after most meals? Ilissa
Many kids — particularly teens — are concerned about how they look and can feel self-conscious about their bodies. This can be especially true when they are going through puberty, and undergo dramatic physical changes and face new social pressures.
Unfortunately, for a growing proportion of kids and teens, that concern can grow into an obsession that can become an eating disorder. Eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa cause dramatic weight fluctuation, interfere with normal daily life, and damage vital body functions.
Parents can help prevent kids from developing an eating disorder by... Read More>>>
Many kids — particularly teens — are concerned about how they look and can feel self-conscious about their bodies. This can be especially true when they are going through puberty, and undergo dramatic physical changes and face new social pressures.
Unfortunately, for a growing proportion of kids and teens, that concern can grow into an obsession that can become an eating disorder. Eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa cause dramatic weight fluctuation, interfere with normal daily life, and damage vital body functions.
Parents can help prevent kids from developing an eating disorder by... Read More>>>
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Talk Therapy With Ilissa, MS, MFT
It's Not Easy Being a Single Parent!
Special Guest: Kathy Benton, Stepping Stones for Women and their Children
www.ksgvradio.com Listen Friday at 11am-12pm
Special Guest: Kathy Benton, Stepping Stones for Women and their Children
www.ksgvradio.com Listen Friday at 11am-12pm
Monday, July 19, 2010
No Age Limit on Picky Eating .
Eating disorder or not, picky eating has it's difficulties.
Ilissa
This is what Heather Hill eats: French fries, pasta with butter or marinara sauce, vegetarian pizza, cooked broccoli, corn on the cob and cakes and cookies without nuts.
And what she doesn't eat? Pretty much anything else.
Heather Hill and her daughter, Sarah, grab boxes of saltines at the store. It's one food they both eat readily.
Ms. Hill is what you might call a picky eater. But she isn't a child. She's a 39-year-old mother of three who runs her own business in Raleigh, N.C. She says she is unable to eat other foods. "When I was younger it was cute," Ms. Hill says. "Now it's embarrassing."
People like Ms. Hill have long puzzled clinicians and medical experts because their behaviors don't fit the definition of a traditional eating disorder, in which people aim to achieve a certain body weight. But picky eaters' diets can be so limited that their food preferences interfere with their social and professional relationships, which is one of the hallmarks of a true disorder. Read More>>>
Ilissa
This is what Heather Hill eats: French fries, pasta with butter or marinara sauce, vegetarian pizza, cooked broccoli, corn on the cob and cakes and cookies without nuts.
And what she doesn't eat? Pretty much anything else.
Heather Hill and her daughter, Sarah, grab boxes of saltines at the store. It's one food they both eat readily.
Ms. Hill is what you might call a picky eater. But she isn't a child. She's a 39-year-old mother of three who runs her own business in Raleigh, N.C. She says she is unable to eat other foods. "When I was younger it was cute," Ms. Hill says. "Now it's embarrassing."
People like Ms. Hill have long puzzled clinicians and medical experts because their behaviors don't fit the definition of a traditional eating disorder, in which people aim to achieve a certain body weight. But picky eaters' diets can be so limited that their food preferences interfere with their social and professional relationships, which is one of the hallmarks of a true disorder. Read More>>>
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Talk Therapy w/ Ilissa, MS, MFT
Biggest Mistakes Men Make When Dating! Special Guest: Dan Mc Getrick, MFT and Hypnotherapy.
www.ksgvradio.com Listen Friday July 16th, 11am-12pm
www.ksgvradio.com Listen Friday July 16th, 11am-12pm
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Help Your Teenage Daughter Manage Her Weight
Sometimes it feels like it's easier to talk to a wall than to your teenage daughter! When it comes to tricky topics like her weight, you might not even know where to begin. But as her mother, you are responsible for showing her how to take care of herself. Evelyn Resh shares six proactive and loving ways to help you talk to your teen about food and exercise that will help build lifelong healthy habits.
Childhood obesity rates are at an all-time high. This is the first time in our history as a country that childhood and adolescent obesity has been highlighted as a public health crisis. Kids and teens in the United States are facing lifelong health problems because they're overeating and underexercising. Read More>>>
Childhood obesity rates are at an all-time high. This is the first time in our history as a country that childhood and adolescent obesity has been highlighted as a public health crisis. Kids and teens in the United States are facing lifelong health problems because they're overeating and underexercising. Read More>>>
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Talk Therapy With Ilissa, M.S., MFT
Two Couples Talk About Their Relationship
www.ksgvradio.com, Talk Therapy
Listen on Friday July 9th from 11am-12pm
www.ksgvradio.com, Talk Therapy
Listen on Friday July 9th from 11am-12pm
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
What Are You Hungry For? Hint: It's Not Food
Women, Food, and God is a terrific book for anyone struggling with eating issues of any kind. Oprah discovered another author who teaches us to replace our struggles with food with more authentic inner solutions.
Ilissa
A provocative new book reveals the self-defeating truth about dieting, while lighting the path to a full and healthy life. Says Oprah, "This book is an opportunity to finally end the war with weight and unlock the door to freedom."
When I first read Geneen Roth's Women, Food and God—in one big gulp—I knew I'd found something profound. I don't like the term food addict, but I realize I've been one, and it has taken me years to learn (and relearn) that the choices we make about what we put in our mouths are only stand-ins for the beliefs we carry in our minds and our hearts. Read More>>>
Ilissa
A provocative new book reveals the self-defeating truth about dieting, while lighting the path to a full and healthy life. Says Oprah, "This book is an opportunity to finally end the war with weight and unlock the door to freedom."
When I first read Geneen Roth's Women, Food and God—in one big gulp—I knew I'd found something profound. I don't like the term food addict, but I realize I've been one, and it has taken me years to learn (and relearn) that the choices we make about what we put in our mouths are only stand-ins for the beliefs we carry in our minds and our hearts. Read More>>>
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Talk Therapy W/ Ilissa: New Day and Time!
Talk Therapy W/ Ilissa moving to new day and time, Reruns, Fridays at 11-12am Topic: Cougars! and Dr. Nely Vasquez, Psy.D., Counseling Children and Teens www.ksgvradio.com
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Who Am I Without Anorexia?
Who are you without your eating disorder? You're all the wonderful parts that have gone into hiding to survive. You're in there I promise and you can also begin to create a new identity...
Ilissa
As you begin taking care of yourself and letting go of the behaviors that anorexia so rigidly dictates, you may find yourself wondering who you are. You may suddenly realize that you do not know yourself very well, and you may find yourself feeling lost and lonely. Many people say that because they have identified themselves with anorexia for so long, when they begin to let go of their eating disorder they feel as if they are losing their very own selves. That is a frightening and disorienting feeling. But if you look beyond feeling lost and search through your fear, you will find that this time in recovery is actually brimming with opportunity. It is the perfect time to discover who you really are. It is the perfect opportunity to find and reclaim pieces of yourself that were either lost, buried, or stolen. It is the perfect time to become whole.
Begin by making the commitment to get to know yourself and who you are without anorexia. Read More>>>
Ilissa
As you begin taking care of yourself and letting go of the behaviors that anorexia so rigidly dictates, you may find yourself wondering who you are. You may suddenly realize that you do not know yourself very well, and you may find yourself feeling lost and lonely. Many people say that because they have identified themselves with anorexia for so long, when they begin to let go of their eating disorder they feel as if they are losing their very own selves. That is a frightening and disorienting feeling. But if you look beyond feeling lost and search through your fear, you will find that this time in recovery is actually brimming with opportunity. It is the perfect time to discover who you really are. It is the perfect opportunity to find and reclaim pieces of yourself that were either lost, buried, or stolen. It is the perfect time to become whole.
Begin by making the commitment to get to know yourself and who you are without anorexia. Read More>>>
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Body Image and Cosmetic Surgery
Body Image and Cosmetic Surgery
Talk Therapy w/ Ilissa, MS, MFT
Special Guest: Dr. Lance Wyatt, Plastic Surgeon
Monday June 21st 1-2pm
Ksgvradio.com
Taking Calls and Emails live!
No topic is off limits!
ON AIR:(626) 852-KSGV (5748)
Talk Therapy w/ Ilissa, MS, MFT
Special Guest: Dr. Lance Wyatt, Plastic Surgeon
Monday June 21st 1-2pm
Ksgvradio.com
Taking Calls and Emails live!
No topic is off limits!
ON AIR:(626) 852-KSGV (5748)
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Life After an Eating Disorder
Most clients tell me that are afraid to give up their eating disorder because it has become their identity. "Who will I be without my eating disorder", they ask. I always tell them that you will be the best of you! In counseling, we work to create a new identity designed by you. Read on to hear another woman's story...
Ilissa
It was not the way they imagined living their lives. They had big dreams, but those dreams did not include obsessing over the calories in a stick of gum or exercising up to eight hours a day. Actress Jamie-Lynn Sigler , supermodel Crystal Renn and former Olympic hopeful Ashley Dalton all lived with the dangerous eating disorder anorexia nervosa, and now all three talk candidly about their recoveries and new lives. Read More>>>
Ilissa
It was not the way they imagined living their lives. They had big dreams, but those dreams did not include obsessing over the calories in a stick of gum or exercising up to eight hours a day. Actress Jamie-Lynn Sigler , supermodel Crystal Renn and former Olympic hopeful Ashley Dalton all lived with the dangerous eating disorder anorexia nervosa, and now all three talk candidly about their recoveries and new lives. Read More>>>
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Apology to listeners: www.ksgvradio.com
Apologies to those who tuned in to www.ksgvradio.com on Monday June 14th for Talk Therapy with Ilissa. It was a Father's Day Special; The importance of a close father daughter relationship. The station is upgrading its system. We did the show but no one could hear it live! It will be replayed soon and you can always catch it in my archives in a few days. Please check back!
Sorry for any inconvenience!
Next Monday's topic, June 21, 1-2pm will be body image and cosmetic surgery with Dr. Lance Wyatt, plastic surgeon. See you there!
Sorry for any inconvenience!
Next Monday's topic, June 21, 1-2pm will be body image and cosmetic surgery with Dr. Lance Wyatt, plastic surgeon. See you there!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Talk Therapy With Ilissa, M.S., MFT
Monday, June 14th at 1-2pm
Listen to Talk Therapy with Ilissa at www.ksgvradio.com
Father's Day Special!
3 Dads talk about being fathers to daughters...
Taking Calls and Emails Live!
No Topic is off Limits!
Listen to Talk Therapy with Ilissa at www.ksgvradio.com
Father's Day Special!
3 Dads talk about being fathers to daughters...
Taking Calls and Emails Live!
No Topic is off Limits!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Talk Therapy With Ilissa, M.S., MFT
Monday 1-2pm
Taking Calls and Emails Live!
Topics: Monday June 7, 2010
How to Keep The Romance In Your Marriage?
Special guests: Dr. Nely Vasquez and Dr. Noemi Urgiles: Is the Foster Care System Working? How Is It Hurting the Children?
Welcome to my newest follower! If you need to speak with me you can always email or call.
Taking Calls and Emails Live!
Topics: Monday June 7, 2010
How to Keep The Romance In Your Marriage?
Special guests: Dr. Nely Vasquez and Dr. Noemi Urgiles: Is the Foster Care System Working? How Is It Hurting the Children?
Welcome to my newest follower! If you need to speak with me you can always email or call.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Reminder: Talk Therapy with Ilissa (internet radio)
Listen to TWO COUPLES TALKING ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP this Monday at 1pm on Talk Therapy with Ilissa at www.ksgvradio.com Listen to couples discuss the same things you discuss with your partner!
It's enlightening and funny!
See you there!
It's enlightening and funny!
See you there!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Stop Being So Hard on Yourself
Are you one of a million people who are walking around being really hard on yourself? Ever catch yourself saying negative things to yourself while ignoring the positive? If so, read on...
Ilissa
Everywhere we turn, there are images of gorgeous women, constant reproaches to the reality of us, with our real bodies and un-Photoshopped flaws. We're not buying it anymore. We're tackling the critics—from the parents and teachers who favor the prettiest children to look-ist employers to the most hurtful of all, that nasty, catty girl who lives right behind our eyes.
Not long ago, I sat in my office, chatting with a friend. "I want to talk to you about your face," I said. "Oh my God," she said, looking stricken. "Do I need a facelift?" (I forget that people think I have a right to be openly critical of their appearance because I'm a beauty editor.) No, no, I said; I only wanted to know what she saw when she looked in the mirror. Read More>>>
Ilissa
Everywhere we turn, there are images of gorgeous women, constant reproaches to the reality of us, with our real bodies and un-Photoshopped flaws. We're not buying it anymore. We're tackling the critics—from the parents and teachers who favor the prettiest children to look-ist employers to the most hurtful of all, that nasty, catty girl who lives right behind our eyes.
Not long ago, I sat in my office, chatting with a friend. "I want to talk to you about your face," I said. "Oh my God," she said, looking stricken. "Do I need a facelift?" (I forget that people think I have a right to be openly critical of their appearance because I'm a beauty editor.) No, no, I said; I only wanted to know what she saw when she looked in the mirror. Read More>>>
Listen Live or Listen to Past Programs (internet radio)
Catch Talk Therapy with Ilissa
Mondays at 1pm
www.ksgvradio.com (Internet Radio)
Taking calls and emails live!
Topic: Divorce and Mediatiom
Mondays at 1pm
www.ksgvradio.com (Internet Radio)
Taking calls and emails live!
Topic: Divorce and Mediatiom
Monday, May 17, 2010
Internet Radio Program: Talk Therapy With ilissa
Tune in for Talk Therapy with Ilissa
www.ksgvradio.com
Every Monday from 1-2pmListen to archived shows anytime...
Taking Calls and Emails Live!
Call us on the air at 626) 852-KSGV (5748)
No Topic is off Limits!
Next Week's Topic:
Divorce and Mediation
Special Guest: Sheila Gutierrez, MFT
You won't want to miss it!
www.ksgvradio.com
Every Monday from 1-2pmListen to archived shows anytime...
Taking Calls and Emails Live!
Call us on the air at 626) 852-KSGV (5748)
No Topic is off Limits!
Next Week's Topic:
Divorce and Mediation
Special Guest: Sheila Gutierrez, MFT
You won't want to miss it!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Ilissa's Internet Radio Program Mondays 1-2pm
Tune in! You won't want to miss Talk Therapy with Ilissa at www.ksgvradio.com!
Marriage and Family Therapist
Internet Radio!
Lots of interesting topics and guests; plus lots of laughs!
Relationships, Anxiety, Depression, Body Image, Grief and Loss, Parenting
No Topic is Off Limits!
Mondays from 1-2pm or you can listen to archived shows at anytime!
Call in live and ask a question or make a comment. (626) 852-KSGV (5748) Doesn’t matter what we’re talking about, interrupt us!
Next week Topic:
Domestic Violence with a special guest from the House of Ruth. Tune in for tips on how to recognize the cycle of violence and how to have a safety plan in place!
See you there!
Ilissa
Marriage and Family Therapist
Internet Radio!
Lots of interesting topics and guests; plus lots of laughs!
Relationships, Anxiety, Depression, Body Image, Grief and Loss, Parenting
No Topic is Off Limits!
Mondays from 1-2pm or you can listen to archived shows at anytime!
Call in live and ask a question or make a comment. (626) 852-KSGV (5748) Doesn’t matter what we’re talking about, interrupt us!
Next week Topic:
Domestic Violence with a special guest from the House of Ruth. Tune in for tips on how to recognize the cycle of violence and how to have a safety plan in place!
See you there!
Ilissa
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty
Dove's campaign for real beauty has promoted a better body image for women. They are doing a great job of dispelling the notion of one kind of beauty. Why does society put so much importance on looks anyway?
Ilissa
In 2004, Dove launched the very successful Campaign for Real Beauty which features real women, not models, advertising Dove's firming cream. The advertisements focus on promoting real, natural beauty, in an effort to offset the unrealistically thin and unhealthy archetypal images associated with modelling. The sentiment is articulated quite strongly through their slogan "real women have curves" as well as the campaign's Web site, http://www.dove.us/#/cfrb/, which features quotes from each of the Campaign for Real Beauty models. The women share their perspectives on what real beauty is and why they wanted to be involved in the campaign. Read More>>>
Ilissa
In 2004, Dove launched the very successful Campaign for Real Beauty which features real women, not models, advertising Dove's firming cream. The advertisements focus on promoting real, natural beauty, in an effort to offset the unrealistically thin and unhealthy archetypal images associated with modelling. The sentiment is articulated quite strongly through their slogan "real women have curves" as well as the campaign's Web site, http://www.dove.us/#/cfrb/, which features quotes from each of the Campaign for Real Beauty models. The women share their perspectives on what real beauty is and why they wanted to be involved in the campaign. Read More>>>
Monday, May 3, 2010
History Of Bulimia And How It Evolved Into a New Problem
I thought this article on the history of bulimia was fascinating.
Enjoy!
Ilissa
The History of bulimia is old. Even in ancient Rome people used to vomit up food they ate in the period of feasting. They even had special places for it called "vomitorium". There is a lot of recollection about these events in ancient Rome books. Roman emperors Claudius and Vitellius were bulimic. Some other cultures like ancient Egyptian purged themselves every month for three days in succession, using emetics and clysters to preserve health. They thought that human diseases came from food. In Europe in the Middle Ages purgation was used like a remedy for many diseases and was advocated by middle age physicians. In ancient Greece and Arabia there were also descriptions in texts of binging and purging. But all these ancient practices of binging and purging are similar but not the same as what we call "bulimia" now. Read More>>>
Enjoy!
Ilissa
The History of bulimia is old. Even in ancient Rome people used to vomit up food they ate in the period of feasting. They even had special places for it called "vomitorium". There is a lot of recollection about these events in ancient Rome books. Roman emperors Claudius and Vitellius were bulimic. Some other cultures like ancient Egyptian purged themselves every month for three days in succession, using emetics and clysters to preserve health. They thought that human diseases came from food. In Europe in the Middle Ages purgation was used like a remedy for many diseases and was advocated by middle age physicians. In ancient Greece and Arabia there were also descriptions in texts of binging and purging. But all these ancient practices of binging and purging are similar but not the same as what we call "bulimia" now. Read More>>>
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Dethroning Your Inner Critic in Eating Disorder Recovery: Part I
There's an inner critic in all of us! Some are just louder and meaner. You can talk back to your critic. Once you understand that your "inner critic" is scared for you; you can learn to soothe the inner critic's fears and send it packing! Practice saying kind things to yourself...
Ilissa
You know how sometimes you mean to do something but somehow it never happens? Or you have a goal, but seem to keep doing the opposite? In February I suggested thinking of an “objecting part” of you that feels differently about your conscious goal, worrying that doing that thing, reaching that goal might make things worse for you in ways your conscious mind isn’t considering. The “objecting part” speaks through sabotage rather than words. (Check out “Getting Unstuck in Eating Disorder Recovery by Befriending Objecting Parts” to learn more.)
Objecting parts are examples of parts of your mind that have a purpose, that is, they are trying to do something important for you. The objecting part’s purpose is to put on the brakes when it has doubts or fears, sometimes unconscious ones, about the direction you’re heading. Your eating disorder probably includes a number of parts with a purpose. For instance, you’ve probably got a part that has cued you to go straight into eating disorder behavior when difficult emotions pop up. Read More>>>
Ilissa
You know how sometimes you mean to do something but somehow it never happens? Or you have a goal, but seem to keep doing the opposite? In February I suggested thinking of an “objecting part” of you that feels differently about your conscious goal, worrying that doing that thing, reaching that goal might make things worse for you in ways your conscious mind isn’t considering. The “objecting part” speaks through sabotage rather than words. (Check out “Getting Unstuck in Eating Disorder Recovery by Befriending Objecting Parts” to learn more.)
Objecting parts are examples of parts of your mind that have a purpose, that is, they are trying to do something important for you. The objecting part’s purpose is to put on the brakes when it has doubts or fears, sometimes unconscious ones, about the direction you’re heading. Your eating disorder probably includes a number of parts with a purpose. For instance, you’ve probably got a part that has cued you to go straight into eating disorder behavior when difficult emotions pop up. Read More>>>
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Live In The Moment? How Do You Do THAT?
Many people are so concerned about what might happen in the future that they miss out on enjoying what's going on in the moment. Read on and learn tips for staying in the moment!
Ilissa
“It is difficult to live in the present, ridiculous to live in the future, and impossible to live in the past. Nothing is as far away as one minute ago.”
When people suggest that I “live in the moment” I understand the concept and can recognize the value (I read and loved Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power Of Now”). But I secretly wonder, “How on earth do you really do that?”
Yesterday, I spent one of the last glorious days of summer lazing on the beach with a dear friend. We were basking in the final rays of the afternoon sun when the conversation turned to his single status. He shared with me that an old girlfriend, currently married was potentially about to be single again. Knowing he had a “thing” for this woman in the past, and a desire to be in a relationship now, I was all over the “potential” that they may yet end up together.
Sensing his overt lack of enthusiasm over my colorfully painted vision of his future, I asked him what was up; to which he replied, “I don’t live in the past or the future, I live in the moment”. Read More>>>
Ilissa
“It is difficult to live in the present, ridiculous to live in the future, and impossible to live in the past. Nothing is as far away as one minute ago.”
When people suggest that I “live in the moment” I understand the concept and can recognize the value (I read and loved Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power Of Now”). But I secretly wonder, “How on earth do you really do that?”
Yesterday, I spent one of the last glorious days of summer lazing on the beach with a dear friend. We were basking in the final rays of the afternoon sun when the conversation turned to his single status. He shared with me that an old girlfriend, currently married was potentially about to be single again. Knowing he had a “thing” for this woman in the past, and a desire to be in a relationship now, I was all over the “potential” that they may yet end up together.
Sensing his overt lack of enthusiasm over my colorfully painted vision of his future, I asked him what was up; to which he replied, “I don’t live in the past or the future, I live in the moment”. Read More>>>
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Ten Tips (+1) on Coping with Stress and Anxiety
On a scale from 1-10 with 10 being the worst; rate your anxiety this week. If it's above a 5 or feels real uncomfortable; try these tips. After a week or two of using these tips, recalculate your anxiety scale to see if there has been some improvement.
Ilissa
Anxiety is a signal our mind and body gives us that danger is near. The danger may come from internal or external sources. We feel the press of living through the stresses we experience. Stress is cumulative, as it draws upon our personal and physical resources. Different people have individual tolerances for higher-than-normal levels of stress and anxiety. When feeling over-burdened, excessive stress and anxiety can lead to lowered self-esteem and depression. In such a situation, the goal of psychotherapy is to validate your emotional experience, adjust the negative self-assessment engendered by emotional overload, and help you find the path of support and positive developmental change. Often, anxiety and stress are heightened by being caught between untenable choices in life, or between people we love (or even, sometimes, fear). These problems can be explored and understood in psychotherapy.
Below are some tips about what many have found to be at least temporarily useful coping skills for living with stress and anxiety. They are not foolproof. If you are feeling very distressed and your life is suffering, there is no substitute to talking with a professional.Read More>>>
Ilissa
Anxiety is a signal our mind and body gives us that danger is near. The danger may come from internal or external sources. We feel the press of living through the stresses we experience. Stress is cumulative, as it draws upon our personal and physical resources. Different people have individual tolerances for higher-than-normal levels of stress and anxiety. When feeling over-burdened, excessive stress and anxiety can lead to lowered self-esteem and depression. In such a situation, the goal of psychotherapy is to validate your emotional experience, adjust the negative self-assessment engendered by emotional overload, and help you find the path of support and positive developmental change. Often, anxiety and stress are heightened by being caught between untenable choices in life, or between people we love (or even, sometimes, fear). These problems can be explored and understood in psychotherapy.
Below are some tips about what many have found to be at least temporarily useful coping skills for living with stress and anxiety. They are not foolproof. If you are feeling very distressed and your life is suffering, there is no substitute to talking with a professional.Read More>>>
Monday, April 5, 2010
Binge Eating Disorder: The Emotional Roots of a Physical Condition
Something happened this morning in a nondescript "multipurpose room" on the campus of Pace University that could end up saving (literally) tens of thousands of lives. The Stop Obesity Alliance, the National Eating Disorders Association and key members of the mass media--three groups which, throughout the years have often been at loggerheads--got together for a long overdue talk. The subject? How the three groups can come together for the greatest good and talk about weight and health in a new, better way. I was there, in part, because I'm kind of a walking, breathing chimera of all three groups. I am recovered from binge eating disorder (BED) and obesity (I weighed 225 pounds during college, when my bingeing was at its worst), and I'm also a long-time health editor at Glamour magazine.
I've covered the health risks of obesity, smart nutrition and healthy weight loss--among many other women's health topics--for years. And, perhaps because of my personal history of BED, have often wondered why (oh God, why?) more obesity research and discussion of the obesity epidemic didn't focus on "disordered" eating. Of course obesity isn't an eating disorder, but it's undeniable that many people who are obese have one! Read More>>>
I've covered the health risks of obesity, smart nutrition and healthy weight loss--among many other women's health topics--for years. And, perhaps because of my personal history of BED, have often wondered why (oh God, why?) more obesity research and discussion of the obesity epidemic didn't focus on "disordered" eating. Of course obesity isn't an eating disorder, but it's undeniable that many people who are obese have one! Read More>>>
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Eating Disorders in College
Each year eating disorders continue to be on the rise among college students. When entering college, people experience many different feelings and emotions. Some may feel excited about finally being able to start studying towards the career of their choice and feel hopeful about their future. They may be looking forward to their freedom and a chance to experience independence. They may be excited about having a chance to meet people and develop new friendships. Others may not experience those same feelings and may not be ready to enter into such an environment. The thought of being on their own and having to be independent can be very frightening. They may feel uncertain about their future and fear becoming an adult and taking on the extra responsibilities. Having to meet people and develop new friendships can also be frightening. They may fear they will not be accepted or fit in. Some may not even want to be in college. They may have been pressured into going there by their parents. All though college can be a wonderful experience for people, for some, it can be one of the worst. Read More>>>
Friday, March 26, 2010
The Media, Culture, and Society
The media plays a significant role in contributing to the number of women and even men who will develop an eating disorder. Western culture and society tells us we must look a certain way. Parents often communicate these messages to their young children without realizing the pressure this imposes.
When we watch television or read a magazine we are constantly bombarded with images of beautiful women/men. How many of us are aware that these photos are touched up? How can we even compare and know what is real? Are you aware that these images were created to sell products and make money? Are you going to buy in or are you going to create your own sense of style and beauty?
Certain professions, like gymnastics create terrible pressure to maintain a certain kind of body shape and weight and often lead individuals to engage in disordered eating.
The media and society are not the only causes of eating disorders. I think that a person who is predisposed to low self-esteem will be at a higher risk of being negatively influenced by the media and society. How do you feel about yourself? Are you trying to live up to some unrealistic standard that is simply leaving you feeling like you're not good enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough? Have you asked yourself if you are good enough on the inside?
Ilissa
Okay, so we all want to hear how Calvin Klein is the culprit and that the emaciated waif look has caused women to tale-spin into the world of Eating Disorders. While the images of child-like women has obviously contributed to an increased obsession to be thin, and we can't deny the media influence on eating disorders, there's a lot more to it than that. With approximately six billion people in the world, and a mere ten million of them suffering with some type of disordered eating (.18% of the overall population -- less than a ¼ of 1%), the media obviously doesn't cause everyone to develop Anorexia, Bulimia or Compulsive Overeating. (Current statistics indicated that approximately one in every one hundred teenage girls may develop an Eating Disorder).
It is a lot more complex than blaming the media.
The media most certainly contributes to dieting and size discrimination
but Eating Disorders are NOT Diets!
From early-on children are taught by society that their looks matter. Think of the three and four year old who is continuously praised for being "oh so cute". Read More>>>
When we watch television or read a magazine we are constantly bombarded with images of beautiful women/men. How many of us are aware that these photos are touched up? How can we even compare and know what is real? Are you aware that these images were created to sell products and make money? Are you going to buy in or are you going to create your own sense of style and beauty?
Certain professions, like gymnastics create terrible pressure to maintain a certain kind of body shape and weight and often lead individuals to engage in disordered eating.
The media and society are not the only causes of eating disorders. I think that a person who is predisposed to low self-esteem will be at a higher risk of being negatively influenced by the media and society. How do you feel about yourself? Are you trying to live up to some unrealistic standard that is simply leaving you feeling like you're not good enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough? Have you asked yourself if you are good enough on the inside?
Ilissa
Okay, so we all want to hear how Calvin Klein is the culprit and that the emaciated waif look has caused women to tale-spin into the world of Eating Disorders. While the images of child-like women has obviously contributed to an increased obsession to be thin, and we can't deny the media influence on eating disorders, there's a lot more to it than that. With approximately six billion people in the world, and a mere ten million of them suffering with some type of disordered eating (.18% of the overall population -- less than a ¼ of 1%), the media obviously doesn't cause everyone to develop Anorexia, Bulimia or Compulsive Overeating. (Current statistics indicated that approximately one in every one hundred teenage girls may develop an Eating Disorder).
It is a lot more complex than blaming the media.
The media most certainly contributes to dieting and size discrimination
but Eating Disorders are NOT Diets!
From early-on children are taught by society that their looks matter. Think of the three and four year old who is continuously praised for being "oh so cute". Read More>>>
Sunday, March 14, 2010
"We Can Let Go of the Past, and of the Future"
This week's blog is a follow up to last week's blog; "Let Go of Control" and learn to trust the journey. This week, I am sharing exercises that when practiced regularly, can help you to get "unstuck" from your need to have control all the time.
Please leave a comment regarding your experience with these exercises!
Ilissa
The difference between theory and experience generally lies in practice, and this is certainly true of Attitudinal Healing. Try to do one of the following personal practice exercises each day (but not more than once per waking hour). Most are five-minute exercises, but you may extend them to 15 minutes if you are comfortable with them. Try not to judge yourself for failing, or for doing them imperfectly, or for being distracted while doing them. Nevertheless, be willing to make an effort, and give them enough priority in your day to make the practice effective. In fact, it is your own "little willingness" that sparks the changes we come to know as "healing".
Practice Exercises:
"We Can Let Go of the Past, and of the Future"
• Individual Exercise:
As a tool for organizing our life, "control" is a useful thing. But when we use the past to "control" our life, we often block our own healthful growth. "Letting go" is the antidote to unhealthful control, and hence we get the principle: "We can let go of the past, and of the future." For five minutes at the beginning of your day, sit quietly in a quiet place. Read More>>>
Please leave a comment regarding your experience with these exercises!
Ilissa
The difference between theory and experience generally lies in practice, and this is certainly true of Attitudinal Healing. Try to do one of the following personal practice exercises each day (but not more than once per waking hour). Most are five-minute exercises, but you may extend them to 15 minutes if you are comfortable with them. Try not to judge yourself for failing, or for doing them imperfectly, or for being distracted while doing them. Nevertheless, be willing to make an effort, and give them enough priority in your day to make the practice effective. In fact, it is your own "little willingness" that sparks the changes we come to know as "healing".
Practice Exercises:
"We Can Let Go of the Past, and of the Future"
• Individual Exercise:
As a tool for organizing our life, "control" is a useful thing. But when we use the past to "control" our life, we often block our own healthful growth. "Letting go" is the antidote to unhealthful control, and hence we get the principle: "We can let go of the past, and of the future." For five minutes at the beginning of your day, sit quietly in a quiet place. Read More>>>
Monday, March 8, 2010
Let Go of Control
Some of us live in a kind of box, although invisible. Some of us find comfort in controlling our environment. Usually it’s because childhood or some other trauma was chaotic or frightening. Unfortunately, living this way keeps us from experiencing life to the fullest. For some of us it is difficult and scary to let go of control. Here are some exercises, that when used consistently can help an individual to learn to let go of some control and allow in some pleasure and spontaneity.
Keep the image of you riding on the horse in your head!
Ilissa
Exploring is hard work. Sometimes it can put you in a funk.
For instance, I lost all of my physical energy yesterday afternoon. I mean all. Pretending it was a cold; I put myself to bed and slept 12 hours of bad-dream-induced sleep and woke up wondering why. Why was I doing all this change on purpose and to myself? Where was I going? What was I doing? What was the point?
The path is in love of self – compassion for self.
So I gave myself a little compassion.
Here’s what I saw: The giver is the One, the greater self within yourself. The receiver is the Other. That's you, too.
The path, I saw, is with the giver. The path is the creative force. The path is not the result: the clean house, the new career, the healthy family. Read more>>>
Keep the image of you riding on the horse in your head!
Ilissa
Exploring is hard work. Sometimes it can put you in a funk.
For instance, I lost all of my physical energy yesterday afternoon. I mean all. Pretending it was a cold; I put myself to bed and slept 12 hours of bad-dream-induced sleep and woke up wondering why. Why was I doing all this change on purpose and to myself? Where was I going? What was I doing? What was the point?
The path is in love of self – compassion for self.
So I gave myself a little compassion.
Here’s what I saw: The giver is the One, the greater self within yourself. The receiver is the Other. That's you, too.
The path, I saw, is with the giver. The path is the creative force. The path is not the result: the clean house, the new career, the healthy family. Read more>>>
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Building a Better Body Image
Yes, our society is obsessed with looks! That doesn't mean you have to buy into it. You decide what's beautiful! I truly believe that there are all kinds of beauty. I see it every day on the street.
What's the point of feeling beautiful on the outside if there's no substance inside? I wonder which comes first, self-esteem or beauty.
Please read on to learn more about body image. I challenge you this week to find one or two things that you like about your looks. Try to stop mirror checking. You look just fine. Maybe when you do look in the mirror you might practice saying, not bad...
Ilissa
Our society is obsessed with looks and weight, but that does not mean we have to passively accept the negative messages we receive about our bodies. In addition to the important tips listed in the book, here are other ways to empower yourself:
Experiment with what weight feels comfortable to you, rather than trying primarily to be thin. Find your “set point,” a weight where your body feels comfortable and will fight to remain. Accept weight variations throughout the life cycle.
Most of us judge each of our body parts individually -- my thighs are too fat, my breasts too droopy, my lips too thick. Try experiencing your body as a whole, rather than as separate parts that need improvement. Read more>>>
What's the point of feeling beautiful on the outside if there's no substance inside? I wonder which comes first, self-esteem or beauty.
Please read on to learn more about body image. I challenge you this week to find one or two things that you like about your looks. Try to stop mirror checking. You look just fine. Maybe when you do look in the mirror you might practice saying, not bad...
Ilissa
Our society is obsessed with looks and weight, but that does not mean we have to passively accept the negative messages we receive about our bodies. In addition to the important tips listed in the book, here are other ways to empower yourself:
Experiment with what weight feels comfortable to you, rather than trying primarily to be thin. Find your “set point,” a weight where your body feels comfortable and will fight to remain. Accept weight variations throughout the life cycle.
Most of us judge each of our body parts individually -- my thighs are too fat, my breasts too droopy, my lips too thick. Try experiencing your body as a whole, rather than as separate parts that need improvement. Read more>>>
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Recovering from an Eating Disorder
Who will I be if I give up my eating disorder? What will my identity be? Sound familiar? Too familiar?? I know who you'll be. You'll be the best of you. The parts that remained undeveloped because of some sort of trauma or emotional neglect.
Find your passion and create a new identity, one that is engaged in life. I don't mean to make it seem easy, it's not! But, if you work with a professional and perhaps join a support group as well; you may find the knowledge and safety you need to become the person that you were meant to be.
The Road to Recovery - Healing from your Eating Disorder
Becoming connected and comfortable with your body, yourself, and your decisions.
The immense journey.
Are you at a point in your life where you really want to be free of your eating disorder? Perhaps it still is a friend to you but your family or friends are insisting that you get help. Whether you have been restricting, bulimic, or compulsively eating, your personal stories have a striking similarity in the real emotional pain you feel. I understand your pain and how difficult it may be to trust that there is a way out. After all, you struggle with trusting your own body so how could you trust others or believe in possibilities? Perhaps you spend so much time trying to be perfect in every way that you are left feeling exhausted. But of course you can’t quite be perfect enough to satisfy that hungry inner critic that constantly tells you that you are not good enough. So you may be left feeling empty inside. Do you have an over active mind that constantly is analyzing you and your life? Do you believe that people would not like you if they really knew you? Perhaps life seems like an endless struggle that you have been caught up in for so long, you really do not know who you are anymore. So how could you possibly feel happy when you are so afraid of becoming “fat?” Read More>>>
Find your passion and create a new identity, one that is engaged in life. I don't mean to make it seem easy, it's not! But, if you work with a professional and perhaps join a support group as well; you may find the knowledge and safety you need to become the person that you were meant to be.
The Road to Recovery - Healing from your Eating Disorder
Becoming connected and comfortable with your body, yourself, and your decisions.
The immense journey.
Are you at a point in your life where you really want to be free of your eating disorder? Perhaps it still is a friend to you but your family or friends are insisting that you get help. Whether you have been restricting, bulimic, or compulsively eating, your personal stories have a striking similarity in the real emotional pain you feel. I understand your pain and how difficult it may be to trust that there is a way out. After all, you struggle with trusting your own body so how could you trust others or believe in possibilities? Perhaps you spend so much time trying to be perfect in every way that you are left feeling exhausted. But of course you can’t quite be perfect enough to satisfy that hungry inner critic that constantly tells you that you are not good enough. So you may be left feeling empty inside. Do you have an over active mind that constantly is analyzing you and your life? Do you believe that people would not like you if they really knew you? Perhaps life seems like an endless struggle that you have been caught up in for so long, you really do not know who you are anymore. So how could you possibly feel happy when you are so afraid of becoming “fat?” Read More>>>
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Biological Causes of Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa
Yes, it's true that eating disorders may develop from environmental influences. However, there are biological predispositions to having an eating disorder. For those individuals who are hard on themselves (all of you!) about having an eating disorder; this article will help you to understand the biochemical influences that predispose you to this kind of condition. Put that together with a dysfunctional family environment and you have a breeding ground for an eating disorder to develop. Information can be very freeing. Read on...
Ilissa
Anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa affect millions of people each year in the United States (1). Popular thought holds that these disorders are caused by women trying to fulfill a culturally imposed ideal body image which stresses thinness. As anorexia and bulimia have proven difficult to treat solely with a psychological-based treatment plan it is likely that there are many factors contributing to these disorders. Research has shown, however, that there is a significant biological component which leads to a manifestation of these disorders (2). Current ideas on the biological origins of anorexia and bulimia will be explored in this paper. These include areas ranging from genetic factors to neurotransmitter and hormone imbalances. Genetics appears to play a significant role in predisposing a person to developing an eating disorder. Abnormal neurotransmitter levels have been shown to exist in people with both bulimia and anorexia. Hormone functioning and levels are also atypical in people with eating disorders. While most studies focus on one area, and usually on just one neurotransmitter or hormone, the different biological causes of eating disorders seem to be related to one another. How these possible biological causes influences the I-function (which is the term for the components of the nervous system which give a sense of being oneself) will be examined as well in this paper. Anorexia nervosa is described as a disorder in which women and men intentionally starve themselves, losing at least fifteen percent of their normal body weight. This self imposed emaciation usually begins during puberty and is most common among middle to upper class Caucasian women, affecting one percent of the US population (1). Amenorrhea, the cessation of the normal menstrual cycle is a common occurrence among anorexic women. There is a tremendous discord between actual weight and perceived body weight. While the woman may feel fat she is actually excessively underweight. "When she came in for consultation she looked like a walking skeleton. Alma insisted that she looked fine and that there was nothing wrong with her being so skinny. 'I enjoy having this disease and I want it. I cannot convince myself that I am sick and that there is anything from which I have to recover." (3)
Bulimia nervosa is a related disorder which... Read More>>>
Ilissa
Anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa affect millions of people each year in the United States (1). Popular thought holds that these disorders are caused by women trying to fulfill a culturally imposed ideal body image which stresses thinness. As anorexia and bulimia have proven difficult to treat solely with a psychological-based treatment plan it is likely that there are many factors contributing to these disorders. Research has shown, however, that there is a significant biological component which leads to a manifestation of these disorders (2). Current ideas on the biological origins of anorexia and bulimia will be explored in this paper. These include areas ranging from genetic factors to neurotransmitter and hormone imbalances. Genetics appears to play a significant role in predisposing a person to developing an eating disorder. Abnormal neurotransmitter levels have been shown to exist in people with both bulimia and anorexia. Hormone functioning and levels are also atypical in people with eating disorders. While most studies focus on one area, and usually on just one neurotransmitter or hormone, the different biological causes of eating disorders seem to be related to one another. How these possible biological causes influences the I-function (which is the term for the components of the nervous system which give a sense of being oneself) will be examined as well in this paper. Anorexia nervosa is described as a disorder in which women and men intentionally starve themselves, losing at least fifteen percent of their normal body weight. This self imposed emaciation usually begins during puberty and is most common among middle to upper class Caucasian women, affecting one percent of the US population (1). Amenorrhea, the cessation of the normal menstrual cycle is a common occurrence among anorexic women. There is a tremendous discord between actual weight and perceived body weight. While the woman may feel fat she is actually excessively underweight. "When she came in for consultation she looked like a walking skeleton. Alma insisted that she looked fine and that there was nothing wrong with her being so skinny. 'I enjoy having this disease and I want it. I cannot convince myself that I am sick and that there is anything from which I have to recover." (3)
Bulimia nervosa is a related disorder which... Read More>>>
Monday, February 8, 2010
Eating Disorders - What's Your Inner Child's Story - Choose to Be a Hero, Heroine
Writing holds great power in any situation. Documenting your life is a good way to think back, understand past experiences better, and hopefully help to put the puzzle pieces of your life together.
I always have my clients tell me their life story. Processing past experiences can be very healing and allows you to write the rest of your story going forward with awareness of your history. Get your pad and paper out, set a time each day and start writing! Start your story at the beginning when you were first born. Once upon a time there was a beautiful little girl/boy...
Ilissa
There is power in writing and telling your story because it helps you discover and begin healing your inner child. This can then lead to healing your eating disorder or other painful behaviors. What are you going to choose, victim consciousness or hero/heroine?
I was lost in the freezing cold -I couldn't breathe- I was underwater -thrashing. This image haunted me in a way that I could never understand. I only feared men and any anger they displayed in the slightest twitch of their lips or jaw. In my subconscious, unknown to me, this memory ruled every interaction I ever had with men.
In my early 40's I did intuitive drawings that revealed an image of a toddler drowning underwater. Trekking deeper into my past, as I wrote my story I found this; the memory of my father who was an alcoholic still in the backwoods of the Olympic Rainforest bordering the Puget Sound Bay. He had been drinking and had taken my older brother and myself in a small rowboat to fish. I had said something that angered him and he hit the side of my head tumbling me into the frigid cold northwest waters. Read More>>>
I always have my clients tell me their life story. Processing past experiences can be very healing and allows you to write the rest of your story going forward with awareness of your history. Get your pad and paper out, set a time each day and start writing! Start your story at the beginning when you were first born. Once upon a time there was a beautiful little girl/boy...
Ilissa
There is power in writing and telling your story because it helps you discover and begin healing your inner child. This can then lead to healing your eating disorder or other painful behaviors. What are you going to choose, victim consciousness or hero/heroine?
I was lost in the freezing cold -I couldn't breathe- I was underwater -thrashing. This image haunted me in a way that I could never understand. I only feared men and any anger they displayed in the slightest twitch of their lips or jaw. In my subconscious, unknown to me, this memory ruled every interaction I ever had with men.
In my early 40's I did intuitive drawings that revealed an image of a toddler drowning underwater. Trekking deeper into my past, as I wrote my story I found this; the memory of my father who was an alcoholic still in the backwoods of the Olympic Rainforest bordering the Puget Sound Bay. He had been drinking and had taken my older brother and myself in a small rowboat to fish. I had said something that angered him and he hit the side of my head tumbling me into the frigid cold northwest waters. Read More>>>
Sunday, January 31, 2010
If You Really Knew Me You'd Know That...
I really like this list. People with eating disorders think they have to keep big secrets about who they really are otherwise no one will like them. See which statements you relate to and if you feel safe, try sharing this list with some safe and significant person in your life. You probably will find out that you are not a terrible person but simply human. Letting others know who you are increases your chance of having your needs met. The other person just may decide to take a risk and own some items on this list too!
Ilissa
If you really knew me, you'd know that...
1. I desperately want to be accepted
2. I am afraid of not winning this battle
3. Just now I am figuring out who I am
4. I have a hard time with the concept of forgiving
5. I smile all the time because I don't know what else to do
6. I am starting to become comfortable with the idea that I am ordinary and that there's nothing wrong with that
7. My eating disorder is not the problem; it's the symptom of my real problems
8. Sometimes I just want you to listen, not talk, not interrupt, not offer advice or suggestions. Sometimes all I want is you to sit there and listen and to feel like I have been heard
9. Sometimes the weight of my sadness is bone-crushing, like the pressure of water down deep
10. I hurt myself because it's the only feeling (pain) that I can stand to feel
Read More>>>
Ilissa
If you really knew me, you'd know that...
1. I desperately want to be accepted
2. I am afraid of not winning this battle
3. Just now I am figuring out who I am
4. I have a hard time with the concept of forgiving
5. I smile all the time because I don't know what else to do
6. I am starting to become comfortable with the idea that I am ordinary and that there's nothing wrong with that
7. My eating disorder is not the problem; it's the symptom of my real problems
8. Sometimes I just want you to listen, not talk, not interrupt, not offer advice or suggestions. Sometimes all I want is you to sit there and listen and to feel like I have been heard
9. Sometimes the weight of my sadness is bone-crushing, like the pressure of water down deep
10. I hurt myself because it's the only feeling (pain) that I can stand to feel
Read More>>>
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Make Your Own Coping Bank
After you've seen your therapist; hopefully you feel good about yourself and reenergized about your recovery. However, at home it's not as easy to deal with feelings and act on new behaviors. That’s why I like the Coping Bank! Being prepared is always a good idea when dealing with an eating disorder.
Ilissa
We take the money we earn and put it in the bank for when we need it. We take the monetary gifts we get from others and sock it away in our piggy banks or bank accounts for a rainy day or for times of need.
A Coping Bank is the same -- we take what we learn about coping alternatives and put them away, in the backs of our minds, for when we needs them. But during recovery that can be difficult, and during times of crisis it's often hard to think of what we should do. Make your own Coping Bank and you can go and make a withdrawal when you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, confused (etc.) and in need of healthy ways to handle it.
How to do it: Read More>>>
Ilissa
We take the money we earn and put it in the bank for when we need it. We take the monetary gifts we get from others and sock it away in our piggy banks or bank accounts for a rainy day or for times of need.
A Coping Bank is the same -- we take what we learn about coping alternatives and put them away, in the backs of our minds, for when we needs them. But during recovery that can be difficult, and during times of crisis it's often hard to think of what we should do. Make your own Coping Bank and you can go and make a withdrawal when you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, confused (etc.) and in need of healthy ways to handle it.
How to do it: Read More>>>
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Sexual Abuse & Eating Disorders Why Precious has an Eating Disorder
It is common for an individual who struggles with an eating disorder to have experienced sexual abuse. Sometimes we think if we cover our body up with layers of fat, that no one will notice us and we won't have to deal with the feelings that are triggered. The film Precious illustrates this phenomenon perfectly. I suggest you see it.
Ilissa
There are many reasons to see the movie Precious. Rarely does a movie devastate and uplift you at the exact same moment. It will leave you reeling emotionally. In a nutshell, it is a movie set in 1987 Harlem about an overweight, illiterate, African American teenager who is a victim of incest. Among many things, it is a story of perseverance and survival. It also gives us a raw look at the connection between abuse and eating problems.
Precious' excessive weight and eating plays a central role in the movie. Aspects of the story help illuminate many of the reasons emotional, physical, and particularly sexual abuse, are risk factors for eating disorders.* Abuse isn't a "cause." Instead, it puts someone at a higher likelihood of having eating issues (there are many biological and social factors that play a part as well). This includes anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder as well as emotional eating, obesity and body image dissatisfaction. Thus, it is no surprise that Precious, who was sexually abused by her father, struggles with her weight, body and eating.
Sexual abuse violates a person's body and personal boundaries. Read More>>>
Ilissa
There are many reasons to see the movie Precious. Rarely does a movie devastate and uplift you at the exact same moment. It will leave you reeling emotionally. In a nutshell, it is a movie set in 1987 Harlem about an overweight, illiterate, African American teenager who is a victim of incest. Among many things, it is a story of perseverance and survival. It also gives us a raw look at the connection between abuse and eating problems.
Precious' excessive weight and eating plays a central role in the movie. Aspects of the story help illuminate many of the reasons emotional, physical, and particularly sexual abuse, are risk factors for eating disorders.* Abuse isn't a "cause." Instead, it puts someone at a higher likelihood of having eating issues (there are many biological and social factors that play a part as well). This includes anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder as well as emotional eating, obesity and body image dissatisfaction. Thus, it is no surprise that Precious, who was sexually abused by her father, struggles with her weight, body and eating.
Sexual abuse violates a person's body and personal boundaries. Read More>>>
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Enhancing Male Body Image
Eating Disorders are not exclusive to women. Males struggle with ed and suffer from negative body image as well. Below is a list of concepts to build a positive body image. Review this page daily for a week and try doing some of the exercises. Feel free to leave a comment describing your experience.
Ilissa
Recognize that bodies come in all different shapes and sizes. There is no one "right" body size. Your body is not, and should not, be exactly like anyone else's. Try to see your body as a facet of your uniqueness and individuality.
Focus on the qualities in yourself that you like that are not related to appearance. Spend time developing these capacities rather than letting your appearance define your identity and your worth.
Look critically at advertisements that push the “body building” message. Our culture emphasizes the V-shaped muscular body shape as the ideal for men. Magazines targeted at men tend to focus on articles and advertisements promoting weight lifting, body building or muscle toning. Do you know men who have muscular, athletic bodies but who are not happy? Are there dangers in spending too much time focusing on your body? Consider giving up your goal of achieving the “perfect” male body and work at accepting your body just the way it is.
Remember... Read More>>>
Ilissa
Recognize that bodies come in all different shapes and sizes. There is no one "right" body size. Your body is not, and should not, be exactly like anyone else's. Try to see your body as a facet of your uniqueness and individuality.
Focus on the qualities in yourself that you like that are not related to appearance. Spend time developing these capacities rather than letting your appearance define your identity and your worth.
Look critically at advertisements that push the “body building” message. Our culture emphasizes the V-shaped muscular body shape as the ideal for men. Magazines targeted at men tend to focus on articles and advertisements promoting weight lifting, body building or muscle toning. Do you know men who have muscular, athletic bodies but who are not happy? Are there dangers in spending too much time focusing on your body? Consider giving up your goal of achieving the “perfect” male body and work at accepting your body just the way it is.
Remember... Read More>>>
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Body Dysmorphic Disorder: When the Mirror Lies
When an individual is struggling with Body Dysmorphic disorder they imagine that they have a flaw or defect in one or more of their physical features. Others may not see ths but it is very real to the individual. Read the article below to learn more about this disorder.
Ilissa
No matter how much weight is lost, or no matter how much food is thrown up, the person with anorexia or bulimia will constantly see the same overweight, vile, failure in the mirror. This typically leads to very destructive and even deadly methods of weight loss in a desperate attempt to lose the distorted perception - in this case, fat (failure). It is very hard, though, for anyone that does not have an eating disorder to be able to understand just how someone could do this to themselves - go through hospitilizations and near death experiences even - but continually see themselves so distorted. Even though Body Dysmorphic disorder isn't just shown in cases of eating disorders (someone afflicted with BDD can obsess not about weight, but instead about their hair, nose, chest, etc.), it still hurts and ruins the lives of whoever is afflicted with it.
At one time or another we all worry about our appearance, but when you wake up degrading your nose, hair, chest, WEIGHT, etc. and then continuing to have these thoughts all day, that's when there is a problem. Closely linked to other disorders and psychiatric conditions, Body Dysmorphic Disorder (termed shortly BDD) is a serious disorder that is growing fast. People that suffer from BDD not only dislike some aspect of how they look, they're preoccupied severely with it. Most get to the point where it is very hard to go outside or sit down comfortably, or go to work and talk to others, without thinking the self-degrading thoughts about their flaws. The thoughts soon over take the person's mind and it is all he/she can think about. Read More>>>
Ilissa
No matter how much weight is lost, or no matter how much food is thrown up, the person with anorexia or bulimia will constantly see the same overweight, vile, failure in the mirror. This typically leads to very destructive and even deadly methods of weight loss in a desperate attempt to lose the distorted perception - in this case, fat (failure). It is very hard, though, for anyone that does not have an eating disorder to be able to understand just how someone could do this to themselves - go through hospitilizations and near death experiences even - but continually see themselves so distorted. Even though Body Dysmorphic disorder isn't just shown in cases of eating disorders (someone afflicted with BDD can obsess not about weight, but instead about their hair, nose, chest, etc.), it still hurts and ruins the lives of whoever is afflicted with it.
At one time or another we all worry about our appearance, but when you wake up degrading your nose, hair, chest, WEIGHT, etc. and then continuing to have these thoughts all day, that's when there is a problem. Closely linked to other disorders and psychiatric conditions, Body Dysmorphic Disorder (termed shortly BDD) is a serious disorder that is growing fast. People that suffer from BDD not only dislike some aspect of how they look, they're preoccupied severely with it. Most get to the point where it is very hard to go outside or sit down comfortably, or go to work and talk to others, without thinking the self-degrading thoughts about their flaws. The thoughts soon over take the person's mind and it is all he/she can think about. Read More>>>
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