I really like this list. People with eating disorders think they have to keep big secrets about who they really are otherwise no one will like them. See which statements you relate to and if you feel safe, try sharing this list with some safe and significant person in your life. You probably will find out that you are not a terrible person but simply human. Letting others know who you are increases your chance of having your needs met. The other person just may decide to take a risk and own some items on this list too!
Ilissa
If you really knew me, you'd know that...
1. I desperately want to be accepted
2. I am afraid of not winning this battle
3. Just now I am figuring out who I am
4. I have a hard time with the concept of forgiving
5. I smile all the time because I don't know what else to do
6. I am starting to become comfortable with the idea that I am ordinary and that there's nothing wrong with that
7. My eating disorder is not the problem; it's the symptom of my real problems
8. Sometimes I just want you to listen, not talk, not interrupt, not offer advice or suggestions. Sometimes all I want is you to sit there and listen and to feel like I have been heard
9. Sometimes the weight of my sadness is bone-crushing, like the pressure of water down deep
10. I hurt myself because it's the only feeling (pain) that I can stand to feel
Read More>>>
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Make Your Own Coping Bank
After you've seen your therapist; hopefully you feel good about yourself and reenergized about your recovery. However, at home it's not as easy to deal with feelings and act on new behaviors. That’s why I like the Coping Bank! Being prepared is always a good idea when dealing with an eating disorder.
Ilissa
We take the money we earn and put it in the bank for when we need it. We take the monetary gifts we get from others and sock it away in our piggy banks or bank accounts for a rainy day or for times of need.
A Coping Bank is the same -- we take what we learn about coping alternatives and put them away, in the backs of our minds, for when we needs them. But during recovery that can be difficult, and during times of crisis it's often hard to think of what we should do. Make your own Coping Bank and you can go and make a withdrawal when you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, confused (etc.) and in need of healthy ways to handle it.
How to do it: Read More>>>
Ilissa
We take the money we earn and put it in the bank for when we need it. We take the monetary gifts we get from others and sock it away in our piggy banks or bank accounts for a rainy day or for times of need.
A Coping Bank is the same -- we take what we learn about coping alternatives and put them away, in the backs of our minds, for when we needs them. But during recovery that can be difficult, and during times of crisis it's often hard to think of what we should do. Make your own Coping Bank and you can go and make a withdrawal when you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, confused (etc.) and in need of healthy ways to handle it.
How to do it: Read More>>>
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Sexual Abuse & Eating Disorders Why Precious has an Eating Disorder
It is common for an individual who struggles with an eating disorder to have experienced sexual abuse. Sometimes we think if we cover our body up with layers of fat, that no one will notice us and we won't have to deal with the feelings that are triggered. The film Precious illustrates this phenomenon perfectly. I suggest you see it.
Ilissa
There are many reasons to see the movie Precious. Rarely does a movie devastate and uplift you at the exact same moment. It will leave you reeling emotionally. In a nutshell, it is a movie set in 1987 Harlem about an overweight, illiterate, African American teenager who is a victim of incest. Among many things, it is a story of perseverance and survival. It also gives us a raw look at the connection between abuse and eating problems.
Precious' excessive weight and eating plays a central role in the movie. Aspects of the story help illuminate many of the reasons emotional, physical, and particularly sexual abuse, are risk factors for eating disorders.* Abuse isn't a "cause." Instead, it puts someone at a higher likelihood of having eating issues (there are many biological and social factors that play a part as well). This includes anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder as well as emotional eating, obesity and body image dissatisfaction. Thus, it is no surprise that Precious, who was sexually abused by her father, struggles with her weight, body and eating.
Sexual abuse violates a person's body and personal boundaries. Read More>>>
Ilissa
There are many reasons to see the movie Precious. Rarely does a movie devastate and uplift you at the exact same moment. It will leave you reeling emotionally. In a nutshell, it is a movie set in 1987 Harlem about an overweight, illiterate, African American teenager who is a victim of incest. Among many things, it is a story of perseverance and survival. It also gives us a raw look at the connection between abuse and eating problems.
Precious' excessive weight and eating plays a central role in the movie. Aspects of the story help illuminate many of the reasons emotional, physical, and particularly sexual abuse, are risk factors for eating disorders.* Abuse isn't a "cause." Instead, it puts someone at a higher likelihood of having eating issues (there are many biological and social factors that play a part as well). This includes anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder as well as emotional eating, obesity and body image dissatisfaction. Thus, it is no surprise that Precious, who was sexually abused by her father, struggles with her weight, body and eating.
Sexual abuse violates a person's body and personal boundaries. Read More>>>
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Enhancing Male Body Image
Eating Disorders are not exclusive to women. Males struggle with ed and suffer from negative body image as well. Below is a list of concepts to build a positive body image. Review this page daily for a week and try doing some of the exercises. Feel free to leave a comment describing your experience.
Ilissa
Recognize that bodies come in all different shapes and sizes. There is no one "right" body size. Your body is not, and should not, be exactly like anyone else's. Try to see your body as a facet of your uniqueness and individuality.
Focus on the qualities in yourself that you like that are not related to appearance. Spend time developing these capacities rather than letting your appearance define your identity and your worth.
Look critically at advertisements that push the “body building” message. Our culture emphasizes the V-shaped muscular body shape as the ideal for men. Magazines targeted at men tend to focus on articles and advertisements promoting weight lifting, body building or muscle toning. Do you know men who have muscular, athletic bodies but who are not happy? Are there dangers in spending too much time focusing on your body? Consider giving up your goal of achieving the “perfect” male body and work at accepting your body just the way it is.
Remember... Read More>>>
Ilissa
Recognize that bodies come in all different shapes and sizes. There is no one "right" body size. Your body is not, and should not, be exactly like anyone else's. Try to see your body as a facet of your uniqueness and individuality.
Focus on the qualities in yourself that you like that are not related to appearance. Spend time developing these capacities rather than letting your appearance define your identity and your worth.
Look critically at advertisements that push the “body building” message. Our culture emphasizes the V-shaped muscular body shape as the ideal for men. Magazines targeted at men tend to focus on articles and advertisements promoting weight lifting, body building or muscle toning. Do you know men who have muscular, athletic bodies but who are not happy? Are there dangers in spending too much time focusing on your body? Consider giving up your goal of achieving the “perfect” male body and work at accepting your body just the way it is.
Remember... Read More>>>
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Body Dysmorphic Disorder: When the Mirror Lies
When an individual is struggling with Body Dysmorphic disorder they imagine that they have a flaw or defect in one or more of their physical features. Others may not see ths but it is very real to the individual. Read the article below to learn more about this disorder.
Ilissa
No matter how much weight is lost, or no matter how much food is thrown up, the person with anorexia or bulimia will constantly see the same overweight, vile, failure in the mirror. This typically leads to very destructive and even deadly methods of weight loss in a desperate attempt to lose the distorted perception - in this case, fat (failure). It is very hard, though, for anyone that does not have an eating disorder to be able to understand just how someone could do this to themselves - go through hospitilizations and near death experiences even - but continually see themselves so distorted. Even though Body Dysmorphic disorder isn't just shown in cases of eating disorders (someone afflicted with BDD can obsess not about weight, but instead about their hair, nose, chest, etc.), it still hurts and ruins the lives of whoever is afflicted with it.
At one time or another we all worry about our appearance, but when you wake up degrading your nose, hair, chest, WEIGHT, etc. and then continuing to have these thoughts all day, that's when there is a problem. Closely linked to other disorders and psychiatric conditions, Body Dysmorphic Disorder (termed shortly BDD) is a serious disorder that is growing fast. People that suffer from BDD not only dislike some aspect of how they look, they're preoccupied severely with it. Most get to the point where it is very hard to go outside or sit down comfortably, or go to work and talk to others, without thinking the self-degrading thoughts about their flaws. The thoughts soon over take the person's mind and it is all he/she can think about. Read More>>>
Ilissa
No matter how much weight is lost, or no matter how much food is thrown up, the person with anorexia or bulimia will constantly see the same overweight, vile, failure in the mirror. This typically leads to very destructive and even deadly methods of weight loss in a desperate attempt to lose the distorted perception - in this case, fat (failure). It is very hard, though, for anyone that does not have an eating disorder to be able to understand just how someone could do this to themselves - go through hospitilizations and near death experiences even - but continually see themselves so distorted. Even though Body Dysmorphic disorder isn't just shown in cases of eating disorders (someone afflicted with BDD can obsess not about weight, but instead about their hair, nose, chest, etc.), it still hurts and ruins the lives of whoever is afflicted with it.
At one time or another we all worry about our appearance, but when you wake up degrading your nose, hair, chest, WEIGHT, etc. and then continuing to have these thoughts all day, that's when there is a problem. Closely linked to other disorders and psychiatric conditions, Body Dysmorphic Disorder (termed shortly BDD) is a serious disorder that is growing fast. People that suffer from BDD not only dislike some aspect of how they look, they're preoccupied severely with it. Most get to the point where it is very hard to go outside or sit down comfortably, or go to work and talk to others, without thinking the self-degrading thoughts about their flaws. The thoughts soon over take the person's mind and it is all he/she can think about. Read More>>>
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